John works all the time and Marsha does not feel that he is around the family often enough. Marsha spends most of her time taking care of the children and John feels that she does not spend enough time with him. Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here is how to save a relationship.
First, you must make a decision of whether or not the relationship is worth saving. While just about any relationship can be salvaged through hard work, both parties must make an effort. If one of the two parties is unwilling to try to restore the relationship, then there is not a lot the other party can do.
A lot of people remain in a relationship out of convenience or stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. While the needs of the children should be of the utmost importance, that is often not enough. How to save a relationship begins with both parties making a strong commitment to saving it.
Next, you need to accurately diagnose the real problem or problems in the relationship. One major challenge with how to save a relationship is that many people think the symptoms of the problem are actually the problem itself.
For example, a common misconception by a lot of people is that an affair is actually a problem that leads to break ups. The truth is that an affair is a symptom of a much deeper problem.
An example of this is if a couple doesn’t share any true intimacy, one of the partners may seek it somewhere else. Unless the problem of the lack of intimacy is dealt with, the symptoms are likely to reappear again.
Now, maybe the spouse will be guilted into not having another affair, but they may seek to fill that need in another way, like pornography. When you address the core issues that are causing the symptoms to occur, how to save a relationship becomes much easier.
After you have diagnosed the core issues, you can begin to share your thoughts and feelings. By this I mean both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to the concerns of your partner.
Hold their hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you strongly desire to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner discusses things that have wounded you, remember that he/she is only doing it to try to restore the relationship.
After you have identified in detail the core issues that are causing the relationship to crumble, create a plan of action together to address and resolve these issues. Then, take immediate action on your plan.
If not spending enough time together is the issue, plan a night every week to go out together on a date. Come up with different creative things to do on these dates and make them memorable.
If lack of communication is the issue, make a commitment to spend a half hour together every night before bed just talking to each other. Then make sure to FOLLOW THROUGH with these commitments.
Finally, understand that how to save a relationship is a work in progress. Even the best relationships that last many decades have their challenges. Be slow to become angry and quick to forgive and you’ll have a much better shot at long-term success.
These are the general steps on how to save a relationship. If your relationship is worth saving, put these steps to action today and your relationship will be on the road to recovery.
