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Is it possible to save your relationship by examining where your relationship has been, the suituation you are in now and where you think the relationship is heading? Discover how to save your relationship with insightful tips from an author on interpersonal relationships, Dr. Paul Vehorn. Dr. Paul Vehorn has been a talk show host for Sun Radio Network and IRN.com, and has a Ph.D. in behavioral psychology.

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John works all the time and Marsha does not feel that he is around the family often enough. Marsha spends most of her time taking care of the children and John feels that she does not spend enough time with him. Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here is how to save a relationship.

First, you must make a decision of whether or not the relationship is worth saving. While just about any relationship can be salvaged through hard work, both parties must make an effort. If one of the two parties is unwilling to try to restore the relationship, then there is not a lot the other party can do.

A lot of people remain in a relationship out of convenience or stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. While the needs of the children should be of the utmost importance, that is often not enough. How to save a relationship begins with both parties making a strong commitment to saving it.

Next, you need to accurately diagnose the real problem or problems in the relationship. One major challenge with how to save a relationship is that many people think the symptoms of the problem are actually the problem itself.

For example, a common misconception by a lot of people is that an affair is actually a problem that leads to break ups. The truth is that an affair is a symptom of a much deeper problem.

An example of this is if a couple doesn’t share any true intimacy, one of the partners may seek it somewhere else. Unless the problem of the lack of intimacy is dealt with, the symptoms are likely to reappear again.

Now, maybe the spouse will be guilted into not having another affair, but they may seek to fill that need in another way, like pornography. When you address the core issues that are causing the symptoms to occur, how to save a relationship becomes much easier.

After you have diagnosed the core issues, you can begin to share your thoughts and feelings. By this I mean both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to the concerns of your partner.

Hold their hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you strongly desire to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner discusses things that have wounded you, remember that he/she is only doing it to try to restore the relationship.

After you have identified in detail the core issues that are causing the relationship to crumble, create a plan of action together to address and resolve these issues. Then, take immediate action on your plan.

If not spending enough time together is the issue, plan a night every week to go out together on a date. Come up with different creative things to do on these dates and make them memorable.

If lack of communication is the issue, make a commitment to spend a half hour together every night before bed just talking to each other. Then make sure to FOLLOW THROUGH with these commitments.

Finally, understand that how to save a relationship is a work in progress. Even the best relationships that last many decades have their challenges. Be slow to become angry and quick to forgive and you’ll have a much better shot at long-term success.

These are the general steps on how to save a relationship. If your relationship is worth saving, put these steps to action today and your relationship will be on the road to recovery.

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Stop for a moment and consider this relationship – Paul works extremely long hours – he enjoys work but primarily in the current climate he is making sure he is not one of those people that his company is considering making redundant, his partner Carla spends all of her time looking after their two children – cooking, washing, taking them to school and acting as a taxi for their very busy social lives! Now Paul feels that she does not have time for his needs and is not interested in him any more

So what do you think? – Can this relationship be saved? Should this relationship be saved? Personally I think this describes many relationships in this day and age (perhaps it even describes your relationship) and I think it should be saved, so here are 5 steps which could really save this relationship.

1 – First step is to decide whether the relationship is worth saving. Truth is, whilst every relationship can be saved with a little hard work, ultimately both parties must decide and agree that they want to make things work – If one of the partners has opted out and does not want to opt back in again, then the reality is that little can be done.

Unfortunately too many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient, or because of the children – but that really is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment from both parties that they both think the relationship is worth saving.

2 – The next step is to identify what the actual problem – or even problems there are in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in How to Save a Relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

Now most people would say that an affair is a problem that causes a relationship to break up – however the reality is that the affair is actually a symptom of a deeper problem within the relationship itself. For instance a lack of true intimacy between the partners can lead to one of them straying, now the injured party may well say – well the affair was what caused us to break up, when the actual truth was that there was no intimacy between the two partners.

By not dealing with the intimacy issue, all you are doing is putting the problem off to raise itself again in the future, now the future problem may well not be another affair, but it could be another problem – and this is all because you have not dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

3 – Now that the core issues are on the table, you can start to share your thoughts. This not only means verbalizing your own feelings but also allowing your partner to do the same thing and listening to their concerns. One great piece of advice here is to make sure you hold your partners hand when you are talking about your problems as a sign that you want to re-connect even when your emotions are all over the place, but remember when your partner talks about things that hurt you – they are not doing this because they want to hurt you, but because they want to improve the relationship.

4 – Create an action plan – now that you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan on how to save your relationship and solve the problems. Then, make sure you take concrete steps to put your plan into action. If you don’t spend time together like you used to – then plan at least one date every week and make sure you stick to it. Both of you take turns in coming up with creative things to do on that night. Maybe talking or not communicating is the issue – well then plan to spend some regular time (perhaps before you go to bed) with no other distractions such as TV or even the kids! and talk.

5 – Finally, saving a relationship is not a one time throw away thing – it is an ongoing process and at times it may seem like trying to push water up hill! – You may take two steps forward only to take one step back – but hey if it is worth saving then it is worth going through a little pain – there is going to be equal measures of laughter and tears going forward. So remember to be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

So after all of that – is your relationship worth saving? Is your relationship very similar to the relationship outlined at the top of this article? If so then I have detailed a number of steps on how to save a relationship.

You might think it’s a shame that you can’t take a class called Save A Relationship 101 in college. You can take math classes, physics classes, literature classes – you can take a class on virtually everything under the sun! A class on how to save a relationship or relationships in general, however, is something that could help everyone and is available to no one. Fortunately, you already have the skills needed to save your relationship and make it better without needing a class. All you DO need is a willingness to work at it.

Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. Now, there ARE a few relationships that just shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or one in which both partners are really miserable. But most relationships have the potential to be saved. That should be lesson number one in any Save A Relationship 101 class.

The main problem is that people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easier to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past. It’s all too easy to focus on what was bad in a relationship – instead of what was good.

If the relationship was good at one point, and lets face it – most were good in the beginning or they never would have happened, then it can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times. People have to ask themselves what has changed to turn the relationship from good to bad. Have THEY changed? Has their partner changed? Is their more stress that is putting a strain on the relationship? Has their been a loss of trust? There are so many “things” that can make a relationship go from good to bad and it’s very important to find out what it is. Once you can do that – you can find a way to save a relationship.

To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard to save a relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. Maybe they were cheated on or maybe they lost all trust in their partner and feel that they’ve had enough? For whatever reason, one person is ready to throw in the towel – and the other isn’t. And can only person save a relationship?

Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend of girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle. You need to keep fighting that battle, however, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save a relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.

It’s very important to remember the way you behaved when the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. How do you react to the things that they say and do NOW, to how you reacted to those same things when the relationship was young and good. Turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.

Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them or threaten them with what will happen if they don’t come back. Use POSITIVE reinforcement – not negative. Follow the Golden Rule! (It DOES work ya know!)

Do your very best to show them the person that they want to be with again. Bring out the best “you” no matter what. Show them that you care enough to give them your very best. It’s a win-win situation all around.